Batter Ed
by Eternally Me
Summary: Rolf always did have crazy ideas. Slash, JimmyxJonny because I don't see any.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** My twisted mind doesn't own EENE. The (twisted) mind of Danny Antonuuci does.

A fic made for my friend D who gave me this idea x3

**Batter Ed**

Prologue

Rolf always did have some pretty crazy ideas, but I thought he went a little too far this time. I mean, he had first moved into the cul-de-sac with a goofy, proud grin on his face-how many years ago? It was probably around four, but even that many years later, he hadn't gotten a full taste of the "culture" we had to offer him. He knew much more over the years, but he hardly left the cul-de-sac; he was dependant on our knowledge of the world he immigrated to and ours simply wasn't enough to cover him.

Now he had laid his eyes upon Jonny and I seriously, looking over the campfire at us and that was when he said it.

"Urban Rangers!" he perked up so suddenly. Even though I was expecting the outburst the way he was looking at us, I still jumped up in surprise and dropped my roasting marshmallow to form our traditional "symbol", showing that I was paying attention and Jonny had done the same, looking as excited as ever.

Rolf stood up and narrowed his eyes fiercely and began to pace in front of us.

"In about a week, there will be a scout competition held. Rolf is sure you're all aware of that, yes?" I looked at him confused, which he seemed to ignore and continued, "Rolf is very positive that you all can handle it and make him proud!"

"Oh boy!" Jonny cried, "Is this going to be like the Olympics?"

"Perhaps, so," Rolf answered and before I could ask, "Rolf thinks we'll all enjoy ourselves, yes? He's already entered us." My face fell. We didn't even get a chance to agree on it?

"Did ya hear that, Plank?" Jonny asked the same block of wood he still carried around, "We get a chance to earn Gold medals! I hope there's swimming!"

Jonny hadn't really changed much over the years himself. He was the same goofy, abnormal, hyper boy that he was at the age of fifteen. His head has gotten bigger and grew brown hair, surprisingly enough, but that was really it. And let me not forgot that I'm still not over the fact that he talks to his wooden "friend". He's dragged that thing around since we were little kids and still appears to have a conversation with it. I just don't get it.

"Isn't this great, Jimmy? We get to travel! We'll be like… a traveling circus!" he beamed at me. I managed to pull off a convincing happy expression and redirected my eyes towards our troop leader.

"Where's this competition anyways?" I asked him. With that same, proud flashy grin, Rolf pulled a map out (of nowhere) and showed it up close to my face. It was America and circled in red was the state Michigan just below the border of Canada. It seemed pretty far from Peach Creek, but I went along with it anyway.

It was a good start that Rolf could actually locate where Michigan was from our home, yes, but it was the question of getting there that I wondered. He hadn't had much experience with different geography and neither did I or most likely Jonny. To top it all off, when we were all packed up and ready to go, I was greeted with a pig (one of Wilfred's siblings-Wilfred ran away a long time ago), Victor, and Beatrice-who Rolf was happily sitting atop on.

"What are you waiting for?" he called me over, "Hop on Victor and get moving!" I sat myself firmly down on Victor, feeling fortunate for my love of animals and held my luggage. I kept repeating the thought in my head that we were only taking the animals as a ride to the nearest airport or bus station. This was going to be the beginning of many crazy ideas.


	2. Chapter 1

**Batter Ed **

Chapter 1

Regardless of their gender, a boy or girl has played with a toy when they were younger. If you were a boy, you didn't play with dolls but more than likely action figures of some sort. As a girl, you played with dolls. Being the effeminate boy I was, I played with dolls because that was what Sarah liked and whatever Sarah liked, I grew to like and it had been that way since we were babies. She was the only person who ever really played with me-I couldn't really help that and especially since everyone else was older than me and did their own thing. Nevertheless, because of doing as Sarah did, I obtained the title of "sissy boy".

I never intended to grow up. It was entirely out of my will. Whenever someone took away or ripped my stuffed animals or I was simply playing with them, it was always either Eddy or Kevin that confronted me and told me that I needed to stop playing with dolls or that it was about time I "man up". Of course, I never really listened to them.

The reason why I stopped playing with stuffed animals by the time I was eleven was because Sarah stopped. She told me that playing with these furry creatures that don't talk back and having tea parties made with pretend tea were no longer…fun. Instead, our new focuses became cosmetology and work outs consisting of yoga and simple jogging. There really was no choice for me but to adjust to it. Through that time I became strangely much quieter-unless pushed over the edge- and I was much more serious and more intelligent than I ever was.

"Rolf," I panted, ignoring the summer sun blazing just above me, "Are we almost there yet?" We had been walking throughout the entire night up to the afternoon without stopping. My eye lids felt heavy and I was ready to pass out at any moment, all at the same time wondering how Jonny was still chatting away with his wooden friend. Even Rolf was slouching by this time, yet Jonny was wide awake.

With the lack of energy, Rolf pulled out the map from before and began to look it over and a weak smile appeared on his face.

"We're making good time!" he announced. Many hopeful thoughts ran through my head, only to be crushed when he added, "We should be there in no longer than four days' time!" Jonny placed an ear to Plank's board and looked back at us.

"Plank suggests we stop here for now." What a smart piece of wood indeed. Rolf agreed to it and hopped off of Beatrice as I did with Victor and Jonny with his pig. We stopped at a gas station and sat in the shade nearby. It didn't take long for all of us to lull off to a deep sleep.

By the time we woke up, it was already nighttime. Since the sun was no longer beating down on me, I had remembered one of the basic human needs: food. With the money we had, we bought something to eat. I got a muffin, Jonny got a strange, high in sugar bar, and Rolf bought a few sticks of beef jerky. If anything, Rolf needed to have his meat for energy. Being the newly found vegetarian I was, I wanted to say something, but paid attention to my muffin instead.

Speaking of meat, the animals had just woken up. They hadn't eaten all day either and I looked at my muffin. It was nearly gone, but I could afford to buy another, which I did and just before I threw a piece at each animal, Rolf tackled me down against the pavement (unnecessarily, if I may add).

"What are you doing, Urban Ranger Jimmy?" Rolf yelled at me. I looked up at him in utter, complete fear from the surprise.

"I-I was just going to feed Beatrice, Victor, and the Pig." Rolf opened my closed hand and snatched the crushed bit of muffin from it.

"Nonsense!" he exclaimed, "They can wait a few more days to graze about the field, yes?"

"No. No they can't," I disagreed, "That's animal abuse!" Rolf ignored my statement and rolled off of me. I wondered if he did this just to piss me off. Jonny appeared to have heard this over and was lugging along a couple of buckets for the pig and Victor. One was already set for Beatrice.

"I think this should fill them up," he claimed proudly, glancing at me and then towards Rolf who was tearing at the meat of the beef jerky with his teeth. It was good to see someone else cared about the animals besides me.

Already, I began to miss home and pulled in my knees, huddling myself against the wall. I wondered how things were at home. Kevin was probably bored counting the jawbreakers or talking to Nazz, the Eds were probably still trying to think of a way to scam everyone else (nothing really changed) while Ed was most likely chasing the chickens and watching the rest of Rolf's animals and Sarah was…alone. We only had each other as friends. She never let anyone else into her life. I began to feel bad for not taking her with me along.

"Are you sure you're gonna do this, Jimmy?" she asked me the day before. With a nod, I dragged my luggage outside of the house.

"I really don't wanna have to face Rolf if I tell him otherwise," I said, shuddering at the thought of being part of his unpredictable culture's punishments and Sarah understood.

"But you're gonna be gone for two weeks-Won't you get lonely?" I sadly smiled and replied, "Well, maybe, but it's about time I got out of the cul-de-sac, right?" It was my way of rushing the conversation to an end.

"I wish I could come, though." Sarah never liked the idea of the Urban Rangers in the first place and strangely enough, even if she wanted to join, Rolf would send her off because he only wanted male members. She would only come along if it meant I could be happy-in which her compassion for me had never changed- and I said, "Its fine, Sarah! I'll be alright, really!"

"C'mere baby chickens!" Ed hollered in Ed's front yard as he chased around a couple of frightened chickens, "Mama rooster wants to give you a hug!"

"Ed, you idiot!" Sarah yelled at him, "Rolf's gonna kill you!" Soon enough, she joined in the goose chase and Rolf as well, who was waving a pot in one hand and shouting foreign swears.

'Most likely, Ed's still driving her up the wall,' I thought, looking up to the sky. There was no moon, but many stars.

"Hey, Jimmy, do you see that?" I turned my head to Jonny, who was suddenly too close to me, but I didn't comment that.

"Yeah, I see the stars…" I looked back to the sky and Jonny tugged on my shirt, pointing above my eyes and made a circle with his finger.

"See? Right there!" he said, "It looks like a shoe with an 'L' at the toe!" I narrowed my eyes towards him, looking confused. I wanted to say 'who cares', but the look on Jonny's face seemed so amazed by this… "shoe". Sure enough when I looked back up and turned my head to the side, I indeed saw the shoe.

"It's the constellation of Boötes," he told me.

"Why is Boötes important?" Now he was staring at me as if to say, "What're ya, nuts? You don't know?" and cleared his throat.

"Boötes might be the first constellation known. He's said to be known as the guard of bears and his mom was an actual bear, who he almost killed according to a legend. She also has her own constellation, but it's only seen in April and she happens to have the 'Big Dipper' within her group of stars," he explained. He was clearly interested in it by the way his eyes lit up and all I could do was nod as a reply. That sort of thing never really caught my attention, which Jonny noticed.

"Well, do you at least like the legends?" he asked, trying to his disappointment. I wrinkled my nose and shook my head.

"They're too bloody and strange for me." With a small "Oh" Jonny turned his head away from my direction and I felt kind of bad. He was just trying to start a conversation with me.

"But I do like Athena," I said to him. His eyes went back towards me smiled a bit.

"Yeah, she stands for a lot of things."

"Wisdom, peace, warfare, handicrafts and reason... No wonder a city was named after her!" The conversation died down for a moment until Jonny suggested Zeus.

"Eh," I shrugged, "I don't know how he's so powerful and mighty to be the king of Gods. He's only the God of the sky, right?"

"And thunder," added Jonny, "What I love is that these Gods have pretty crazy characters! That's why I love these stories so much." We grew silent for a moment until Jonny decided to whip up another question.

"What's your sign, Jimmy?" he asked me, "I'm an Aries!"

"Cancer, why?"

"Oh, yours isn't appearing this month then," said Jonny. I noticed the entire time that when he was talking to me, he hadn't glanced at his wooden friend once. Maybe he'd finally grown tired of talking to it. Then I found it kind of insulting. I was the last resort, basically? I sighed and stretched out myself even further against the wall and Jonny looked at me sadly.

"You're bored, aren't you?" There was no denying it, but the melancholy stare he gave me was just so… childish. It reminded me of when I used to pout the same way-well, I still did that, but his was more…innocent.

"No, I'm not bored," I lied, "I just can't think of anything to say."

"Okay!" Jonny grinned cheerfully, flashing his smile towards the sky once again, "So what do you think about the stars?"

I felt I shouldn't have said anything at all. At least I no longer felt lonely.


	3. Chapter 2

**Batter Ed**  
Chapter 2

Now, that action figure or that doll or toy was made for a couple of reasons:

They were made for you to play with.

If you played with it, it was bought with money

Because of rule number one, every toy has a specific function. That basic function is control.

That toy is yours and you're given the option to share it, but yes, this toy is in fact your very own and you can do whatever you want with it. You can make it walk, make it talk, throw it in the air, see if it can float, sell it, make it explode-the possibilities are endless.

With the desire to play with our toys and control them and daze off into a wonderland of imagination, I wonder why we grow up and give up on taking it our dreams out on our toys and onto other people and jobs and by the time you put away that toy for the last time, others are expecting you to become more self sufficient. Why do we have to drop the toy, though? Don't we still wish to have control and go back to the day where we didn't really have to lift a finger? Maybe as we get older and we're given higher expectations and better goals than "to meet a pony" or "to find a pot of gold" and at the same time, we have less control than when we were spoiled.

As for me, I had absolutely no way to handle Rolf and Jonny as my own walking and talking dolls. If that were the case, we would've stayed home and stuck to our usual camping…

All of the animals had collapsed during the second half of the second day. Rolf was yelling at them in his native tongue and they looked at him as if he was a psychopath. Maybe that was just me. Jonny was once again talking to Plank, but whispering and kept looking back and forth towards Rolf.

"We should give them water, Rolf," I suggested. He then gave me the same expression I (or the animals, you decide) stared at him with-but if it were a reflection of my face, I must've been making a pretty horrifying face.

"Rolf says we stop here for now," he sighed, sitting down by a stop sign. I fell asleep once again, but just after I noticed Jonny sneaking in water again, but this time from a nearby well.

By the time I woke up, the others were still asleep and I opened up my suitcase, wondering if I brought a snack with me. Alas, there was nothing in there, but when I thought about it, I actually wasn't that hungry. It was probably from the heat. Yet, none of us had eaten a thing all day.

The animals surprisingly enough had stayed in place. I was wondering why they hadn't run away yet like Wilfred. Perhaps they tried many times before only to-

"Is it nighttime yet, Jimmy?" Jonny asked me, lazily sitting up. The sky was a blend of orange and pink when I looked at it, so I shook my head. Jonny shrugged and plopped the upper half of his body back onto the ground (how could he sleep that way?) and closed his eyes.

"Oh, I'm going back to bed then…"

"There is no time for rest!" Rolf shouted, slowly getting up (when did he awaken?). Jonny sprang up as well, got his bag and wooden friend, and stationed himself next to the pig, who still looked exhausted as ever until he saw Rolf coming towards him. There seemed to be a moment of telekinesis between each animal, for they glanced at each other and ran for dear life down the road.

Rolf began to chase after them and yelled at them once again in his home language, but I knew it wouldn't last long. There was a strange, raspy ringing in his voice that made it sound weaker than this morning. Sure enough, he fell flat on his face (which caused Jonny to snicker). Slowly, we walked over to Rolf (who was still muttering swears) and picked him up gently.

"What do we do now?" I asked, suddenly panicking. Rolf looked at me with dreary eyes, ready to answer, but fell asleep before he could. Jonny hummed softly and took away from me the other part of Rolf I held up.

"I know what to do!" he said excitedly, dragging him over to the well. I walked with him and peered inside the hole with water and at Jonny with concern.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? He might get mad."

"Nah, I think he'll be fine," Jonny assured me, lowering Rolf further and further into the well until-

"Oops." I nearly screamed when I heard a splash and familiar grunting.

"Whoa," Jonny gasped, then turning to me, "You think he'll stay there for 30 years and die like that creepy girl in the movie?"

"Why is Rolf at the bottom of a watery, endless pit?"

"AHHHH! IT'S ALIVE!" Jonny cried, cowering back towards the stop sign, "STAY AWAY FROM MY TV YOU GHOSTLY FREAK!"

"You will all feel the wrath of the son of a shepherd once he escapes this dungeon!" I ran once I was sure I saw a wet hand grip a stone from the entrance to the well and hid behind Jonny.

Then just to add to our "luck", a bus had parked just in front of us and I looked to my left. 'Oh yeah, a stop sign…' The doors opened, inviting us to come inside. I felt even more hopeful than yesterday. Yes! This was it! We weren't doomed after all! Just as I was about to climb on, Jonny pulled me back.

"We can't just leave him there!" he reminded me, (which unfortunately he was right) "He'll be even madder at us if we leave him out here!" Admitting defeat, I rushed back over to the well with Jonny. Rolf had sunk back down all the way to the bottom.

"Come on, Rolf!" Jonny lent out his hand, "Grab it!" Looking at us with exhaustion, Rolf turned his head away.

"No…" he said, "Rolf cannot go on like this-he put his trust into the both of you to carry on! That's why he entered you into the contest!"

"R-Rolf," I sniffled, holding my hand for him to grab. I was nearly blinded with tears. Rolf shook his head.

"Don't cry for Rolf…he'll rise once again someday and"-

"But we're gonna miss the bus!"

"Hallo?" Rolf grabbed both of our hands and we pulled him out of the well. Lucky for us, the bus was still there and we paid a quarter each for our seats.

"Where does this bus take us?" I asked the bus driver. Answering me, he pointed to Ottawa on the map. It was close, but not straight to Michigan. For once, I felt relaxed and took a seat next Jonny's. He was still holding his wooden friend close to his body as if he were protecting it.

"Hey Jimmy," he said, "Are you enjoying this too?" Well, if you would call riding on the back of a small animal in the heat of the day and night while worrying it was going to die, not really eating anything for most of the day, and feeling ready to faint a grand old time, I could've agreed, but…

"I don't think I am just yet." Jonny looked at me concerned.

"Why?" he questioned me.

"We haven't really done anything fun yet," I replied.

"Why?" I narrowed my eyes.

"Because Rolf is doing things the hard away."

"Why?"

"Why do you keep repeating the same question?" With a childish grunt, Jonny folded his arms.

"No fair! You have to answer mine first." I sighed loudly.

"It's because he's Rolf-there, happy?" This time, he nodded and kept quiet-for once. He cradled Plank in his arms as if it were a living, breathing child and held it close. I felt kind of bad. As annoying as he could be, Jonny really had nobody else to talk to, but of course, Jonny wouldn't be himself if he didn't talk and be annoying and ask many questions now, would he?

"Well, what about you? Are you enjoying yourself?" I swear-the way he glanced at me the second I began to ask either appeared to say that he was thankful I said something and/or he was expecting me to say something.

"It's like an adventure! Of course I'm enjoying myself!" he chirped, "I've never been away from home ever!" Me neither, when I remembered.

"Besides, when's the next time I'll be able to do this again? I've always wanted to go to the U.S," he added. The difference was, though, I never really thought about going. Of course, when I was younger, I dreamed of making it big-I still do, but dreaming of my fame being so well known to reach the bordering country and hopefully beyond was more my aim-not actually going itself.

"Why?"

"Because I heard it's like a whole different world there-the trees, the people… everything!"

"From who?" I cocked my head my head to the side, only to have Jonny laugh at me.

"I thought I was supposed to be the one to ask the questions," he giggled and I found myself joining him.


	4. Chapter 3

**Batter Ed**

Chapter 3

If you act like someone who remains in their childhood and dwells on it for far too long it seems, does that mean it'll take a while for the person to grow up? Then again, what is growing up? Doesn't it mean rising in intellect and realizing your surroundings more than before when the world treated you? I wondered if Jonny was part of that case, but then again, even observations I've made haven't been deceived the first time.

For example, he tended to the animals. Momentarily he was off in his little world-was that really the case? Second, he was talking to me-which I still found pretty odd and whenever he was talking to me, he didn't look back as he used to and ask his wooden friend what he thought. There probably were more examples, but none that could instantly come to my mind.

For once, I slept with half the comfort I would've had back at home and I felt somewhat well rested, ready to start the day. Rolf was still sleeping when we got up and Jonny was already up along with the Sun. He noticed me stretch and greeted me with a smile.

"'Mornin, Jimmy!" he grinned.

"Morning, Jonny." He looked back out of the window, holding Plank close to himself.

"Bus driver said we're almost there," he told me out of nowhere, "But we have to get off and wait for the next one. That one will bring us to Detroit." That sounded fair to me. It was just on the border.

"How long do we wait for it?" Jonny tapped his chin.

"I think he mentioned 4 hours," he said with a frown, "And I think he also said that if we miss this bus, we're going to have a while to wait for the next one or just catch a bus to Toronto in another half hour and wait another few hours-maybe even a day there."

"A day? What're we supposed to do for a day? We don't have enough money to rent a room!"

"He said from there we have to figure it out for ourselves," he shrugged. Figures. At least we knew where we were going.

"But that's okay!" he suddenly brightened up, "I've never been to the city! I've always wanted to go…"

"You've never been to the city, Jonny?" I asked him. Jonny nodded.

"I've never been outside of Peach Creek," he admitted shyly.

"My parents only took me a couple of times," I said to him. Instantly, Jonny moved himself what seemed to be a mile to get next to me-way too close to me. His eyes glittered like a couple of diamonds. He put his hands on my knees firmly and I whined loudly.

"Tell me what it's like, Jimmy," he spoke in a strangely hypnotic voice. I pressed my back against the wall of the bus and tried to slide upwards away from his grip.

"W-Well it's…uhh… bright!" He removed his hands and I relaxed for a moment until he inched his face towards mine.

"Tell me more~" I plopped back onto my seat.

"Well, there's a lot of stuff to do and there's a lot of people and buildings… and there's a lot of good food!" Jonny clapped his hands excitedly.

"I wanna go really badly now!" he said with a small gasp.

"Don't think this is going to mean that we're going to miss the bus," I reminded him. Jonny seemed disappointed, but he understood the warning.

When the bus driver had kicked us off about an hour later, Rolf had barely woken up without any energy to move, so we dragged him and his bags off of the bus and sat at the station and waited. Nobody had spoken a word (well, Rolf was mumbling gibberish, but that doesn't count) for the next couple of hours.

"Is it time to eat yet?" asked Jonny. Rolf looked at us with weak, red eyes and I cowered in fear staring at them. Jonny appeared to be unaffected and turned his head to me.

"I think he says yes!"

"But where do we go to eat?" We looked ahead of us. There was absolutely nothing in sight. I could've sworn I saw a tumbleweed roll by.

"We should go find one!" Jonny exclaimed. I grabbed him by his collar before he could begin to venture about the outside world.

"Wait! There might not be one for miles! We might miss the bus!" I reminded him. Jonny gave me a small smile as if to calm my nerves a bit.

"Well, let's go search! If we don't find anyone in," he checked his watch, "An hour, we'll come back here." I sighed. My stomach was rumbling awfully loud, begging for real food. Of course, the stomach always won over the mind in this situation, so I looked my head to the right.

"Rolf, are you coming?"

"No, Jimmy boy," Rolf huffed, "Rolf must stay here... and keep watch…" Ignoring his inability to move, I began to follow Jonny who already led the way.

"Oh boy, Jimmy! It's like we're on one of those survival shows!" he grinned (and at that moment I turned my head to look all around, hoping there was a camera in sight).

"Yeah, it does feel like one,"-

"We might have to bend down low to eat the bugs that walk the ground (I cringed) or… we might end up being stranded in Alaska and have to live like the Eskimos and live off of fish and ice (I cringed again) for the rest of our lives until we get rescued by the choppers and then"-

"Jonny, I don't think that can happen," I interrupted him with a worried tone.

"If ya say so, Jimmy," he shrugged. We didn't really talk for the rest of the hour. I had to admit, it was kind of awkward, especially because Jonny always glanced at me as if he were about to say something, but held it back. Guilt swept over me once again, but for some reason, it was just so hard to come up with a conversation with a guy you hardly talked to and had quite the reputation for being odd all the years you've known him.

Miraculously, there was sight of a building nearby. Using the money we were given, we bought food (including meat for Rolf) and other sanitary items (that I was desperate for) and came back within the next half hour and 10 minutes. I was feeling happy. We had food and we were about to be taken straight to Detroit. While we waited, we would eat more lunch and then-

"Hey Rolf, we're back!" Jonny yelled. There was no response. We got closer to the bus stop. There was nobody there.

"Wh-where could he have g-gone?" I stuttered, "He was way too exhausted to move!"

"Maybe," Jonny drew his face close to mine with a very frightening expression, "He was kidnapped! Or… maybe… that girl was in the well and took over his body and"-

"Stop it!" I whined, "That scares me!"

"But it could happen!" We searched the area for 10 minutes until I heard a very low growl that nobody ever wants to hear.

"Jimmy, I think we angered something," Jonny whispered to me. I shushed him and leaned in a bit closer.

"We don't know what's behind us! Should we look?" Jonny nodded and held up his hand.

"5…" The growl was even louder.

"4…" It was coming closer.

"3…" Sweat began to drip down my forehead.

"2…" Then there was the sound of heavy grunting.

"1…" We both turned around, only to see nothing. Jonny looked as puzzled as I did, but nowhere near as fearful.

"What the heck was that? Do you think"-

"HOW MANY TIMES HAS ROLF ASKED YOU IN THE NAME OF HIS GREAT NANO TO STOP STEALING HIS CHICKENS?" I screamed (in a very high pitch) and began to run for dear life until I felt Rolf's pressure push me down against the ground. The bag of goods flew out of my hands. Rolf got off of me and smelled the bag, which I snatched away from him.

"No! This is not yours to touch right now! You will have something once you settle down, mister!" I lectured him. For a moment, Rolf seemed to calm down until he pounced on me again. His eyes were wide and alert, unlike earlier. It was as if he were having a late adrenaline reaction or something. Squirming or even rolling over couldn't get me out of the situation, but apparently something or someone else did for that matter.

Rolf fell off of me and to the side of my body and I shrieked until I sat up and realized it was… Plank wearing a mask and sitting on my stomach. I looked to my right to see Jonny with a familiar green melon pulled over his head.

"Take that evil Samara who has taken over my friend!" he yelled victoriously, "Captain Melon Head has saved the day once again!"

"I hope that's not one of the melons we just bought," I warned him.

"Of course not!" he smiled, "I saved this in my bag with Plank's mask." Rolf weakly got up from the floor, looking as tired as he did before, reached into my shopping bag and pulled out a sausage. Oh. So all he wanted was the meat. And in a snap it seemed, Rolf immediately was back to his old proud self after devouring the entire thing whole (which made me cringe again).

"Rolf is ready to get down and roll!"

"Uhh, Rolf," I said, playing my part as Kevin, "I think you mean that you're ready to get down to business? They're parts of two different phrases." Rolf ignored me and swung his bag over his shoulder.

"Now, when is the next bus again?" Suddenly, I heard the sound of a roaring engine and to my horror, immediately took off.

"Was that it?" Rolf asked. Slowly, I nodded, trying to avoid going into a field position. As predicted, Jonny wasn't affected at all by this.

"Off to Toronto we go!"


	5. Chapter 4

**Batter Ed**

Chapter 4

Everyone dreams. Those dreams most of the time never connect to reality because of the forces of nature or because the person never believed. My dream was of the typical youth-to be a star. I could shine all over the world as I had my picture plastered on the hall of fame with my bright smile (without a retainer) and have the world truly know I was brilliant in my own special way.

But alas, that dream seemed so… way off. I mean, I was just your typical girly boy that happened to be the runt of the pack. I had nothing to offer to the world except maybe some snicker doodles and freshly sewn hats. My hopes went down. It would never happen because reality didn't serve me that way and I didn't believe.

Then, there are those times when dreams do come true. How often do people go from nothing to something and obtain so much luck and wealth? Does it come to those who least expect it? If so, then I claim myself to be that case, but of a different kind.

When we got on the bus, I remained silent for the entire trip. Jonny was humming loudly to himself and Rolf was in the back relaxing well for once. I ended up dozing off.

By the time I woke up, the first thing I saw was flashing lights and tall buildings, concrete and people-many people if I might add walking up and down the sidewalk and roads as if it were on routine.

"Wow," I heard Jonny gasp in a loud whisper, "Isn't this awesome?"

"Y-Yeah… if you call it that…" It was more like frightening to me. The bus door opened and the three of us piled out quickly when we noticed the line waiting for a ride. The driver gave us a map.

"Where shall we head for in this jungle?" Rolf asked us. Jonny randomly grazed his fingers along the map.

"I wanna go…here, here, here, here, here, here, here-oh and here!" I frowned at him, concerned.

"But that's too many places. The bus leaves at 11 tonight to Detroit-how are we gonna manage all that time?"

"Well, can we just go to the CN tower then? I heard it's really tall with a funny pod shaped thing in the middle and it's really tall and it has food!" Rolf's ears perked up.

"Food?"

"It's expensive up there. We'll go in and eat somewhere else, but only if we get to go to Queen's Quay Terminal. It's got clothes!"

I already regretted going up the CN tower. My ears had just stopped hurting from the popping from high above in the sky and we were far away from the bus stop-not to mention having to go through crowds of people. Rolf was somewhere inside, but I decided I'd worry about finding him later.

I didn't really have problems with it; it was more Jonny who was clinging onto me for dear life.

"There's so many people," he wheezed, "Are they looking at us, Jimmy?" I dragged him along with my foot, slowly edging towards the windows.

"They will if you don't get off!"

"But are the people going to eat me?"

"No, silly! They won't." Jonny detached from my leg and this time clung to my arm.

"You're not lying to me, are you?" he whispered to me.

"I promise," I sighed, "Just stay with me, okay?" He still wouldn't let go of me even when we finally got to see the view from high above.

"Neat-o!" he exclaimed, turning his head to me, "Everyone looks like ants from up here! You think if I do this with my fingers, I would squish them?"

"No…I don't think so."

"Good, because I don't wanna be a murderer!"

I had to admit: it actually did feel nice to be high up in the sky. I wondered if some people could see where we were right now, standing as we watched them go about their own lives. Then I thought of home-if only Sarah could see this. If we were younger, I would probably be the one grabbing her hand as she told me that I was going to be fine. I had changed a lot-I wasn't as dependent any longer. Instead, I was the one that had a claustrophobic, frightened child clinging onto me, but that no longer mattered to me at this point. If perhaps those people were staring at us after all, then they already knew he was attached to me.

"I'm really having a great time, Jimmy," Jonny mused, "These have been the best days of my life!"

"The best days? You enjoy going without food for a while and doing nothing but riding around and waiting and being outside of the Cul-de-sac?"

"Well, yeah… I've never had this much fun before ever."

"Ever? You always seemed happy just being around Plank"-

"Shh! Don't let him hear!" Jonny said in a hushed voice, covering his hands over the sides of Plank's "head".

"Anyway, you always seem to have fun with just Plank," I continued. There was a visible, dejected expression on Jonny's face-the same one he made just a couple of days ago.

"That's because he's all I have…"

Of course. Why didn't I think of it before? Jonny wasn't Jonny2x4 without Plank. After all, he heavily relied on the piece of wood. Plank doesn't talk back (well, regardless of Jonny's "conversations" with it) or leaves his side-making Plank a mere toy; the ideal companion! Because Jonny and Plank together made Jonny2x4, for that reason, it was why the pair became the "lone wolves". But what if…Jonny had an actual friend-someone that wasn't an animal or an inanimate object?

"Well, you got me," I found myself saying. The fragile look on his face slowly faded.

"Really? Do you mean it?" he asked, "I thought you didn't like me."

"No-well, I'll admit that I'm weirded out by you…a lot…" Jonny chuckled as if expecting it. "But it doesn't mean I don't like you."

He hugged me tight-almost way too tight right at that moment. The weight was pulling me down quickly as I found myself sink to the floor.

"Thank you, Jimmy!" He was raised high above for me well enough to examine his face closer. His eyes were sparkling and wide and his face had a tint of pink. It was…adorable…

"Ya know, Jimmy, I think this was meant to be!" Jonny said, "You're a Cancer and I'm an Aries!"

"But what does that have to do with anything? It's just a silly superstition."

"It can still be true!" I drew my face a little closer to his.

"Yeah… I guess…"

It was almost unintended-yet I'm not sure if it was a matter of me feeling experimental. Our lips clashed gently, only to gnash against each others as I pulled him towards myself and closed my eyes. I no longer cared about the window where we were on display and who might've been watching. All I cared about at that moment was what he wanted the most-to think about _him_.

Once we separated, it didn't take me long to realize exactly what I had just done. As for Jonny, he seemed… confused… or at least he didn't understand.

"Wow… That felt really good and it wasn't slimy! Do it again!" A few pairs of eyes were locked on us.

"Uhh… maybe later!"

"What's wrong? Your face is all red. Is that supposed to happen? Is my face red?"

"…No, Jonny, it's not"-

"Am I gonna look like this my entire life?"

"Your face isn't red!"

"Then why is yours?"

"Umm- I don't know!"

"It's not a mutation, is it?"

"I doubt it."

I placed the palm of my hand on the side of my face. He was right. My face felt like it was burning enough to set the entire playground on fire.

"Hey Jimmy, let's go get something to eat. I'm hungry." At least someone had an appetite.

"S-sure, let's do that…"

By the time we got back, Rolf was already waiting for us with a dazed, hungry look in his eyes. Under his arm were slabs of meat and chicken. (And it was hard not to look)

"…I'm guessing you found a place to eat?"

"You bet your eel's gut sockets Rolf did!"

After dinner, we all agreed to go to the Queen's Quay Terminal like I wanted. Rolf ended up on his own looking for a new pair of shoes and… something about a coat made of silk and a sun hat with an ox chasing a chicken around in circles-he said it was for Kevin. (He ended up liking the coat, but hid the hat somewhere, but only wore the coat once. After that, it was torn to shreds and I don't think the hat was involved…) Jonny ended up staying with me. Alone. Once again.

"Hey, Jimmy!" I looked up from the rack of clothes I was examining. It was hard to concentrate and critique with him constantly telling me something.

"What is it now?"

"How about this?" Jonny pulled out what appeared to be something very thin and small…

"NO!" I immediately cried, "Put that back!"

"But what about this suit? It's pretty snazzy…"

"Eh… It would look better in gray."

"Ooh, what about"-

"Jonny, why don't you try something on? Find something for yourself."

"Okay!" he chirped. It got me a good moment of silence to finally pick something… and then…

"I'm done!" Already? That was fast. I turned around-and I wasn't sure whether I was horrified…or…

"Check it out! I look like a wedding cake!" He waddled over to me with a fist full of the dress in one hand and Plank in the other. "What do you think?"

'Is this what they call cold feet?' I thought to myself. "Uhh…how about we go wait for the bus, Jonny? I'm done looking."

"But you have a hanger in your hand"-

"Which I was going to put back! Yes!" Tiny beads of sweat rolled down the sides of my face as I slammed the hanger back onto the rack. Jonny looked at me with suspicion.

"Your face is turning red again…"


	6. Chapter 5

Batter Ed

Chapter 6

Have you ever done something where you were so completely focused on it that you misread the reality or you didn't know what you wanted in the end?

I didn't realize what it meant to become a sumo wrestler because I wanted to be "a star" when Eddy introduced the idea to me. Everything was fine. I ate peaches and cream all day and gained weight quickly enough to be about the size of a house. Everything was going according to plan until the reality hit me: in order to be a sumo wrestler, I needed to go to Japan. That didn't turn out well at all and it took a matter of time for me to slim back down to my old size.

Now at the time of the trip, I didn't know what I wanted from Jonny. For some reason, I just wanted him. Maybe the problem was I couldn't admit it to myself.

After what seemed like forever, we somehow made it over the border. One look at us and I don't think we were taken very seriously and let into the US. (Why does my life feel like a cartoon?)

"Wow, the people are so nice here!" Jonny gasped as he watched all the other visitors get checked for papers and merchandise, "Except maybe to them." (I don't understand it either.)

We rode on another bus until we reached our destination. It was strange seeing such a large center filled with boys our age running around the inside that we didn't know (considering I thought we were the only Urban Rangers) while some of the others (more than likely the troop leaders) were waiting on line. Jonny somehow seemed disappointed.

"These are the Americans? But they look just like us! They talk like us too!"

"They speak English too, Jonny…" I reminded him.

"That's not authentic at all!" Momentarily, I left Jonny's side to find Rolf, who was already wandering the place like a child and placed his head against one of the Rangers, sniffing the poor victim loud enough for him to hear.

"Ah, the sweet smell of competition," Rolf sighed to himself, "She is worth more than a prized brick of roasted beets!" The victim began crying, trying to pull away from Rolf's grasp until I ran over and tried to help him out.

"Rolf, stop it! You can't just go up to people doing that!" At once, Rolf released the Ranger and watched as he quickly ran away.

After we finally got a schedule and our room numbers, we went to check them out. Both rooms were very small with just enough drawers to pack our clothes worth of two weeks. Unfortunately, we only had two room keys and each room had two beds. Guess who had to stay with Jonny?

Just after settling in, I had finished taking my shower and flopped onto my bed. My hair was soaking wet, but I was just too tired to care… I decided to flat iron it later.

"Okay, it's your turn." Jonny wasted no time to rush into the bathroom and came back out wearing only two towels-one for his head and for his lower body.

"Ah, that hit the spot! Don't you feel squeaky clean too, Plank?" How he managed to bring the wood with him amazed me, but I decided not to question as I finally let my eyes slowly close. No longer did I want to take a bed for granted-although this one was kind of uncomfortable. Just as I was about to drift off, I heard a loud click.

"URBAN RANGERS, THIS IS NO TIME TO REST!"

I screamed and rolled off the bed beside Jonny who was already prepared. Rolf put down the megaphone (which I didn't even know he had in the first place) threw us each a pamphlet.

"Now that the assembling has been complete," he pulled out a chalk board from his connected room and smacked it with a ruler, "The training has begun!"

"Training?" I repeated, "But we never trained for anything!"

"And this is the reason why none of you have the "Trained for Once in your Life" badge! Now let's get to work!"

The first event we practiced for was the track and hurdle… with water balloons and our option of travelling was using a pogo stick.

When Rolf handed Jonny and I each our pogo sticks and water balloons in a bag tied around one of the handles, I looked at both items questioningly.

"Rolf, are you sure this is a good idea?" For a second I expected Rolf to shout something that didn't answer my question or something slightly discouraging, but he instead said, "Nonsense! It was stated in this doohickey!" He pulled out his pamphlet, showing me he had read it.

This event seemed so absurd to me, but regardless…

"GO!"

Jonny already started hopping away. "Good luck, Jimmy!" I struggled to move for a moment until I was lightly hopping, but it barely covered an inch at a time it seemed. Rolf pulled out his megaphone.

"URBAN RANGER JIMMY! ROLF SAID GO!" he screeched. Those inches quickly became feet and I smiled to myself. This wasn't so bad! I was moving according to the track and I wasn't going out of control. Jonny didn't seem to far up ahead either and a hurdle was just coming up.

"THE WATER BALLOONS!" I reached my hand into the bag and pulled out one and turned to Rolf.

"But what do I"-

The rest of the sentence was cut off by the pavement. Which I hit.

Jonny had already finished his lap by this time and helped me up and fixed the hurdle. "Training sure is fun, eh Jimmy?" If I didn't fall flat on my face, I could have given him a more positive reply.

Our next competition was balancing. I was sure it was going to be one of those events where you had to balance a bean bag on your head, but then Rolf slammed down a box of stuff.

"URBAN RANGER JONNY!" Jonny immediately saluted him and then ran forward just to catch a box with a basket ball, dish and stick, balloon, log, fish bowl, frog paddle, beach ball, tire, paddle ball, unicycle and probably some other stuff, but Jonny only took out the tire, the frog paddle, the beach ball and the fish bowl.

"What do I do now, Rolf?" Rolf sighed and took the unicycle and paddle ball. He rode atop it and began playing with the paddle ball as demonstration. Jonny stood on the tire and rolled back and forth while spinning one fish bowl on his finger like it was a basket ball.

"Very good, Urban Ranger Jonny!" He glanced at me and sneered. Blindly, I grabbed the log and the balloon and began running on it back and forth like a mouse on a wheel.

"Don't forget the balloon, Jimmy! You gotta bounce it on your head like this!" To my left he was currently hitting an actual basket ball on his head and in his other hand was the frog he was using to paddle with Plank.

"Rolf admires your work, Urban Ranger Jonny!" he beamed. Nervously, I threw the balloon in the air, which strangely enough tilted back…

This time the back of my head hit the concrete. I was sure the distorted figure in my eyes I could see what Jonny hopping off of his tire to help me up again. "Tough break, buddy!" He looked at Plank and said, "Plank thinks you're better off in the sit like a rock competition… Hey, that's not nice!"

Strangely enough, that was our next session in training and then swimming. Sitting like a rock was the only thing I could do correctly (which Jonny had a hard time with) and swimming…well…

Rolf pulled out his mega phone. "GO!"

In my pink dragon floatie, I energetically made it to the other side and back in a faster pace than even Jonny could do!

"Great job, Jimmy! You're finally getting the hang of it!" Jonny encouraged me.

"Urban Rangers!" We were assembled once again by Rolf. "Tomorrow is a day of competition and triumph you shall! Training has done much wonders, but for now… the messengers from a distant land have arrived!" He meant room service.

Jonny and I were isolated in my room. Neither of us could hold back on engorging on nearly everything that was given to us. It tasted like cafeteria food from back at Peach Creek, but it was next to the real thing.

"I'm so excited I don't think I can sleep tonight!" Jonny beamed, "I can't wait for tomorrow and the first event is the swimming! You should be fine in that, Jimmy!"

"Yeah, hopefully," I laughed nervously, taking another bite of my food. "You should be good too. You're a total athlete at this stuff, Jonny!"

"Really?" asked Jonny, "But we never do this stuff in gym! I only do it at home." There was a depressing pause at the end of his sentence.

"I miss Sarah," I sighed.

"Me too."

"But I thought you didn't like Sarah."

"I like everyone- even you and Rolf!"

"Well…me too."

"Even me?" asked Jonny. There was a certain way he asked that made my reply sound unsure.

"Yeah… why not?"

"It's just that… I don't know," said Jonny, "Sometimes I think you like me. Sometimes I think you don't. Then yesterday, you kissed me and then you avoided me." I put down my fork. _'So he does think about that reaction…' _Finally, I answered, "It's not that I don't like you. I just… don't know what I want right now, but I do wanna be your friend." Jonny's eyes lit up.

"You really mean it this time, Jimmy?" Before I could answer, he pulled me into a tight hug. We stayed like this for a good few moments, but I couldn't help but think he still didn't understand the purpose of the kiss.

Other fellow urban rangers in the swimming competition, Jonny and I were both stretching-well, I was currently blowing up my floatie, but I was overcome with the same excitement as Jonny. I was going to be on a stage-but a different kind with a personal audience and at the same time, I was going to be judged on performance. Just as we were called to the diving boards, Rolf came racing towards us.

"Hiya, Rolf!" Jonny greeted him enthusiastically, "Are you gonna wish us luck?"

"Rolf has no time for this! Urban Ranger Jimmy, take off the floatie!" Frowning, I obeyed and handed it to him.

"What's the problem with the floatie? I trained with it yesterday!"

"Floaties will get us disqualified!"

"Disqualified?" I squeaked. The word left a lump in my throat. "Rolf, but you don't understand! I can't swim!" A whistle blew, signaling us to have dived into the water. Rolf dragged me over to the diving board regardless of my whining.

"Rolf will teach you then!" He then threw me into the water and I'm not sure what happened after that, but all I saw was blue and then black

**A/N:**** I'M SO SORRY! DX I can't believe I waited this long to update, but it's finally done AND it's my longest chapter yet x'3**


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